Christmas again, if you can believe that. And we’re going to end the year with another thought exercise in the hope it will be so self-evident it eclipses mere thought into physical (exercise), further graduating into training and then—you guessed it— a fitness practice.
I don’t have high hopes, I’ll be honest. If pure reason were to lead you to a fitness practice, the body— your body— stands as reason enough, surely.
But it’s the last post of the year, so what the hell. And should you take advantage of the festive season and the fact, you will likely have a bit more time on your hands, you could get this up and running, once and for all.
Also true, of course, that more than a few seasonal temptations offset that free time, and— as many are want to do— it’s possible you’re lining up a few weeks of less movement than normal, compounded by far more food and booze and letting the chips fall where they may—an admirably philosophical mindset when applied to many situations in life.
Excepting this one. Because letting the chips fall is one of accepting, or indeed loving our fate—amor fati— in light of our best efforts. As distinct from the total absence of effort that decides our fate. In any case, come what may, it all sounds— as the meme goes— like a 2025 problem.
So it’s just as well you’ll be otherwise suitably motivated because you’re right, it is a 2025 problem.
Because, beginning next year, your employer has— in their infinite wisdom— decided to introduce a set of mandatory minimum fitness standards.
And just like the military, police or first responders— any job that demands a certain physical capacity and readiness—you will be tested to ensure you meet those standards. In suitably business lingo, that will be happening at the end of the first quarter, on April 1, 2025.
And annually thereafter.
Your employer is not interested in any bluster about your job not having any physical demands much less those of a cop or soldier. That may be so, but we now well know the mind merely mirrors the body and that cognitive performance, mood, energy, productivity—everything— is positively influenced by a base level of fitness and, frankly, they’ve had enough of people doing things half-arsed.
I mean you might as well be drunk, for Chrissake.
The good news is that there’ll be no call for the sort of morning calesthenics you may be familiar with in Japanese culture. No, the corporate trackies are a bridge too far here in the freewheeling Antipodes.
Oh, did I say freewheeling? I meant fat.
The bad news is you’ll have to take care of this in your own time— yes, just like the police and soldiers etc. do— and not on the company dime.
Although there is no mention in the memo as to how.
But you’ll figure it out. I mean, you have to. Because those unenlightened times are now a ghost of Christmases past, and should you fail the test you’ll be given a month to get your act together and retested on May 1. Fail that one and you’ll be suspended— without pay— until you pass.
Like I said, motivated.
Helpfully, the memo does mention how not to go about it.
It depends on where you’re at now certainly, but, in fitness terms, the end of the first quarter is already looming so there’s not a minute to waste. Even so, you might be thinking well, I’ll do nothing all year and then put in an all-out effort to try and get myself across the line on test day.
Oh yeah, the New Year’s Resolution approach, you mean? Well, you could, I guess, but that would only be minimising the upsides and maximising the downsides, right? It’s fitting the test is held on the morning of April 1 —because the fools will be obvious.
No, no, no, a little, and often over the long haul makes far more sense. As ever, you want to start small. In fact, the numbers to start with are behavioural ones— I exercised 3 times this week. Or whatever suits you best:
3 x 50-60 minutes = 150–180
4 x 30-45 = 150–180
5 x 30-36 = 150–180
6 x 25-30 = 150–180
As you develop the habit of exercise, then start to target some numbers being sure to address all the physical demands not just of your job, but your life — I mean you might as well make the most of it, right?
So, broadly speaking, you’ll need to determine strength, power, mobility, and conditioning minimums. Obviously, considerations are made for age, injury, height/weight et cetera, but the key word there is minimums: the point below which you cannot reasonably perform.
It’s a low bar, so it must be strictly enforced because making concessions to an already base standard only compromises all benefits thereof. This avoids the tired and wholly predictable game of wasted time, effort, money, and people believing that ‘nothing works’ and other rubbish.
It works. Every time. If you do.
Form follows function and if you want to look, feel, and perform better the best means to that end is to focus on improving what you can do. Better still, in achieving and maintaining a range of physical standards you’ll end up with a fitness practice.
You’ll need to pay attention to things like nutrition and other big rocks like sleep, and stress, of course, and not just exercise, but it’s the exercise primarily that regulates and informs all else. It’ll need fine-tuning. But then it always will.
And you’ll be good to go on test day. But well before then, you’ll have realised that what you once thought was a curse, was a Christmas blessing.
That for all the other bullshit you deal with at work every day, sweating for the man only helped the situation. And not least, the realisation you were meeting standards all the time—at work and everywhere else: driving standards, hygiene standards, parenting, social and cultural and civic standards. You were jumping through every hoop there was, except the single one that made you better at all of them. And everything else besides.
You only wish you had been suitably motivated earlier.
ENDEX
So there you go.
Unfortunately, this is not the case. And whether you have an employer or otherwise it falls on you to set and meet your standards. Or not.
But, again it stands to reason, that if this is what it took to get you to a base level of fitness then, despite its inconveniences and discomforts — the undoubted hassle of it all on some days the simple fact there was no tired debate about it, far from being any sort of workplace overreach or blurring of boundaries— you would come to view it as the greatest workplace perk you couldn’t imagine.
With but one exception: those who are already fit. They would be feeling pretty miffed about the new workplace perk.
So that’s your holiday homework. To someway, somehow, remove the tired debate.
And make your Christmas better for it.
And your mood, energy and health better for it.
And your work better for it
And your life better for it.
And a partridge in a pear tree.
PS. Before and Still is now open. A 45-60 minute consulting—give you the answer—call giving you a strategy to follow over the holidays that’ll have you finishing on Jan 16 right where you started, at least, guaranteed. 201 dollars well spent because you’ll be doing the hard stuff up front while realising that not only was it not that bad, it was better than any Xmas you can remember.
Book a call from Mon-Thurs so you’re ready to start Friday.
And if you’re stuck for last-minute gift ideas you could do a lot worse than give somebody a fitness practice! Leftfield Training gift vouchers are available with a 6-week minimum:
Online 67/wk
Burnley Group: 61/wk
[If the lucky recipient is on the fence, the trial period still applies and, should they determine Leftfield is not for them, the voucher is transferable within that trial period]
Finally, as a parting gift I’ll leave you with a Christmas story from hilarious Glaswegian, Kevin Bridges.
The next post won’t be in your inbox until Saturday, January 11th.
I wish you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas, and a safe and happy New Year.
As always, thanks for reading.
- OLI